We learned at an early age that if we break things, if we make the kitchen look worse then what it was when we started, maybe we wouldn’t have that chore anymore. I mean it is a girl's job isn’t it? We were smart, but not that smart. Mom learned also at an early age to buy unbreakables. I don’t know what these yellow bowls were made of but being in the Army I would consider them a weapon. If they could make a helmet out of them I guarantee you that if I fell off that 90 year old blue ladder of Dad’s, I wouldn’t feel a thing. By the way it is white now; he painted it.
Back to the story…..Matt. My brother Matt. Young, innocent, sweet. I don’t think so. As normal big brothers do, we pick on the youngest. Brian and I did our best to make sure Matt felt pain. But tonight he had a pain plan that I was unaware of. What happened at the time I thought might have been a spur of the moment reaction to a situation. I don’t think so. Now as I look back it was many years of abuse, planning and scheming……….Matt.
We were clowning around washing and drying dishes discussing girls that had beaten Matt up, until he snapped. He had had enough and he put his plan into motion. “I bet you can’t hit me as hard as you can”, “right here”, “hit me in the shoulder”.
What? Are you kidding?
Now looking back I was to young to have been drinking but this was it; this was that chance you dream about. That bar room brawl where you know you are going to win. I mean thoughts of Houdini asking someone to hit him in the stomach as hard as they could and then dying, well that didn’t cross my mind. It was time, it was time to do the wheel house, the crane of pain, the path of wrath. Then I realized, he’s serious. He really wants me to hit him. I look around for witnesses, cameras, parents, nanny camera teddy on the mantle, coast is clear.
This brother of mine doesn’t realize that I just ate two salmon patties, some dried biscuits with sugar free jelly and some cold mashed potatos. Yes, I have had years of abuse also and it was time to feel the pain. I look him straight in the eye, through the glasses I had broken the day before, so maybe not quite straight in the eye. He was serious. He had the look like “bring it on baby”. Well let me tell you sister I’m bringing it on! I reared back with all I had. I put more power behind this punch then anything I had ever done, except for those trips in the car. Hey, I have a medical issue and it was before beano. I hit him as hard as I could.
Impact. Have I told you about the bowls? It was like a magic trick and I fell for it. But it was an illegal trick. He had thought about this moment for many years and the time had come. It was time to get even, raise the bar; all those years of abuse; girls beating him up. No Taekwondo classes, no kung fu classes, no self defense classes, no girls wrestling class, just a bowl.
Evil was what I thought at impact. The bowl, the yellow one, the one that could be thrown over the ledge of the Grand Canyon and change the course of the Colorado River , was hidden under the dish towel on his shoulder like a magic trick. He didn’t even move, he felt nothing, and smiled like Darla did when she pinned him to the floor. Revenge!
The pain was there. I didn’t break any bones or break any skin but the pain of deceit still haunts me to this day. It hurt , in fact it hurt like hell. I might even have blacked out for a second but woke to both Matt and Brian laughing hysterically.
To this day, it all comes down to one thing. Not the snotty-nosed, conniving, scheming little brother but those yellow bowls! I will always remember those yellow bowls not really as an appliance but a weapon. Those yellow bowls! In the year 3004, they will find one of these bowls in a landfill. It will be just like new, with dried cold mashed potatoes in them. Still yellow, still hard, still in my memory.
