MommaLee's to Remember

Well Cri-ma-nit -ly!

The sound of that word coming out of the radio made me stop dead in my tracks. Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle!  !  I had never heard anyone else except Mom say that!  Instantly I was transported back to my childhood.   She used to yell that word out of sheer frustration pretty much on a daily basis….with an extra double emphasis on the NIT.  And here I always thought she had made it up.  Holy Moses!  It got me wondering about all those other unusual words and sayings she would seem to pull out of the top of her hat. 

Crimany sakes!  What about her “made-up” words like nitpicky, willy-nilly, and gobbledygook? And there was whippersnapper, rigamarole and nincompoop?  Or Jibber jabbering, lickety-split and rambunctious?    Diddlysquat, caca may me, and lollygagging?  For land sakes, I assumed these were all part of my Mom’s own personal vernacular.  I had never bothered to look them up in a dictionary because I didn’t even know how they could possibly be spelled. 

Well for crying out loud!!  Now with the magic of Spell Check, come to find out that they are actually all real words!  Imagine that!  I dug a little deeper into my memory and scrounged up more of her sayings and googled them.  To my amazement, most everything that she said has been yelled by moms all over the world for centuries!  They’re called “mommalies” but I’ll call them Momma Lee’s.   The list I compiled ended up being an arm and a leg long.

No ifs, ands or buts about it!  When it came to cuss words, Mom had a knack for creatively expressing her feelings without setting a bad example and using the “wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap” words.  I recall one time hearing Mom say “This is one Mell of a Hess that you’ve made!”    Unfortunately, hearing her say it made me snicker which got me in more deep-doo -doo. 

Holy Moly! Looking at the list, it was obvious that a lot of her creative explosions had to do with Heaven, Hell and God.    

. 

Hell’s bells, come hell or high water, you are going to hell in a hand basket, when hell freezes over!

Heaven’s to Betsy, I swear on a stack of Bibles, you look like hell warmed over, as God is my witness!

On a wing and a prayer, I swear to God, you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t, and God only knows why! 

Speak of the devil; you need to use the brains God gave you, for the love of God!

The God awful truth is, only heaven knows why, this is a living hell, so to hell with it all!

Honest to God!  I learned a lot more at home from Mom’s daily Catechism class than the one taught by Sister Mary Blanche at St. Mary’s. 

For Pity’s sake, she also gave us other phrases that actually taught us a thing or two.  When she said that we were like some “wild kids from Borneo”, I went to our trusty/dusty World Book Encyclopedia to see where in the heck that was.  While I was there, I looked up where Sheba was because she always said I acted like their Queen.  I couldn’t find this “la la land” where she said I always was off in.   Another time, by hook or by crook, I just had to look on the World Atlas to see how far Africa was from our house because someday I wanted to ride my bike there and give them all the food that Mom made me eat because of those starving kids there.  You bet your life, I would have been happy to share my canned asparagus with them!  Unfortunately, it looked too far so that was the way the cookie crumbled.  Interestingly, I also could see on the Atlas that I was not ready to take that slow boat to China that Mom always mentioned.  No

sir-ee, Bob!  

Jeepers!  There were basic mathematical, scientific and financial facts I actually gleaned from her rants.  I learned to count at a young age with her “I’m going to give you till the count of ten” and even bigger numbers from her saying “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million/bazillion/gazillion times”.  I learned if you give an inch, you can take a mile and that two heads are better than one; that it takes two to Tango; and that common sense came in several sizes…an ounce, a lick, a bit and sometimes none at all.  I for sure did not want to get behind the eight ball (although I didn’t know what happened to balls 1 thru 7) and that I didn’t know much more than the man in the moon.  I learned that if Mom had a dime for every time she heard that one, she wouldn’t be a day late and a dollar short.  You can bet your bottom dollar on that!

Jiminy Crickets!  There were animals that I would have never known existed if it weren’t for Mom…like a big lummox , those mongrels and something called a poppycock.  Plus there were so many interesting facts about other species.  There are actually such things as: 

Wild goose chases, bulls in china closets and chickens that go crazy when their heads are cut off (we witnessed that for ourselves). Mules are stubborn, jaybirds are naked, pigeons have toes, hens are wet, and bats are in hell.  Bedbugs are crazy and they might bite you at night; there are bunches of bull and herds of wild elephants.  Ants can often get in your pants and butterflies can somehow get in your stomach.  You can play possum but curiosity killed the cat so don’t monkey around.  And don’t even think about opening up that can of worms!! 

I grew up to realize that there was a lot of truth in these phrases that she would use; and I put them to good use later on in life: 

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

There are always two sides to every story.

Speak now or forever hold your peace!

Don’t bite off more than you can chew!

It’s feast or famine! (Debbie’s favorite)

Don’t just sit there like a bump on a log!  Make yourself useful!

Hate is a strong word!

Share and share alike!

Sorry but you are low man on the totem pole!

Don’t feel like you’re the Lone Ranger!

Say you’re sorry…and mean it!

If you don’t like it, lump it!

Hind sight is 20/20 (It took me awhile to realize she wasn’t talking about my hiney)

And finally “Always refill those darn ice cube trays!”

Gee Willikers!  By the looks of this story, I sure have used a lot of MommaLee’s to express myself.  So, I hate to admit it but I guess I have now officially turned into my mother.

Well, Crimanitly!

Debbie's memories of Krug Park

Krug Park and Krug pool were the most fun places to go when I was growing up!

I don’t remember if we only went on the weekends or if we sometimes went during the week.    Mom probably packed a picnic lunch or dinner sometimes, but I don’t remember eating anything.    All I remember was all the FUN things there were to do there.

When I was little, we used to roll down the hills in the bowl area, which was a long roll down!

When I was a little older, we played on the swings and other playground equipment, but the most FUN was the LONG slides.    There were probably other slides, too, but the 2 long slides were the best.     Really, they were the longest slides I ever saw!   They were the same length and went down parallel to each other.   We used to do anything to go faster, like sit on napkins or throw dirt and sand on them!    They were so much fun!    I can just imagine how hard it was for Mom and Dad to get us to leave…and how dirty we were after all that!

On our way out of the park, there were 2 tunnels to drive through – that was such a big deal when we were kids!   Dad always honked the horn the whole way through the tunnel.    It was just so exciting!

The last tunnel was part of what we called the “castle”.  There used to be live animals, like a small zoo there.   I think monkeys and lions, but it closed before we were old enough to remember.

The park had a big pond, “the duck pond”, and that was our last stop before leaving the park.   We would save the heels of bread (from the day old Rainbow bakery) to feed to the fish.   They were big! And the pond was full of them!    I think there were ducks, too, but I remember the fish the most, because the water would be still and you’d throw a piece of bread in and all of a sudden an orange fish would come up and grab it!   

When I was in Girl scouts, we had a Yule log hunt there.    I never knew what a Yule log was then, so I didn’t even know what we were looking for.     I just knew it was a really big park and we didn’t have much hope finding it, especially since there was snow and it was cold!   The best part about it was the campfire and hot cocoa and somemores.

The park also included a natural “bowl” amphitheater area.   Every Sunday evening in the summer was the Krug Park Bowl.  There was always a big band performing, the best way to describe it is like Lawrence Welk.  There was a master of ceremony, which was the announcer and the band leader.   Then there were other performances, like singers and dancers.  We took dance lessons from Susan Knoll and Nancy, Gail and I danced there one time.    They can correct me if I’m wrong, but I think it was a tap dance to “Fascinatin Rhythm”, costumes were deep purple satin, sleeveless, with a short skirt edged with a feathery trim.  Nancy and I took voice lessons from this very old woman who made us sing only Irving Berlin songs, but I don’t think we ever sang at the Krug Park Bowl.

When I was in junior high and high school, the Krug Park Bowl on Sunday night was THE only place to be.    Everyone who was anyone was there.  We’d meet our friends and make new ones and just ‘hang around’.    I don’t remember seeing any of the performances, it was just to socialize and show off your new outfit and how good it looked with your suntan.

When I was in 7^th and 8^th grade, we had several slumber parties at Josie Rock’s sister’s house, who lived on the road just behind the park, so we would hang around the castle in the park.

When I was in 8^th grade and freshman, it was Ice skating.    We kept checking the paper for the notice that the pond had been cleared and was safe to skate on and then we were there with our skates.    The best time to go was at night.   We played crack the whip, which was probably dangerous, but I never got hurt and no one I knew did.    I probably had a bruise or two now and then because we did fall down a lot, but it was so worth it!    There was always a bonfire built on the bank, so you could keep warm, but my hands and feet never warmed up until after I got home and rubbed and massaged them in front of the heater vent.    That numbness and tingling was the strangest feeling!

Then there was the Krug Park pool, which was right by the park, on St. Joseph Avenue.   We took swimming lessons there, I never learned to dive, but I did jump off the high diving board.    Of course, I will never forget Mom made me wear sponge rollers in my hair one time that we had swimming lessons because we were having a family picture taken later in the day.    I was so embarrassed.   I can’t figure out why I would have had to do that because the pool water had chlorine in it, so my hair probably looked bad anyway for the picture.   When I was in high school, we always walked to the pool from our house, which is a pretty long walk, but everyone did it.    And we would hang out at the pool and walk to Krug Park or to the Dairy Queen.   We never carried a purse, but we always had a comb in our hand (with a long handle).    It was the cool thing to do!    We sure did a lot of walking in those days!

Here is a little history on Krug Park:

Krug Park is often referred to as St. Joseph's oldest park. While other areas were given for public use earlier, it is true that Krug Park was the first public outing area under the jurisdiction of the board of park commissioners which received public expenditure. As such, it was developed before any other parks. On February 26, 1890, Henry Krug, donated 10 acres (40,000 m²) to the City for use exclusively as a park^[2] , on the conditions "that no intoxicating liquors shall ever be kept, sold or disposed of in or upon said premises...nor shall any gambling or gambling devices be permitted." The City was to keep the park in good condition, under police control, and expend annually at least $2,000.00 under the direction of the park commissioners.
Early plans of Krug Park are not available, but from narrative sources it appears that the City quickly spent in excess of the required $2,000.00 per year. As St. Joseph's only developed public space, Krug Park became the "catch-all" for everything that the public seemed to desire. Park Superintendent Rudolph G. Rau seemed particularly fond of flower displays and formally designed beds, and Krug Park boasted many such spectacular displays. It also had at one time a zoo, greenhouses, botanical gardens, gazebos, the Robidoux cabin, a fountain, and a lily pond.
Krug Park was officially open to the public on May 6, 1902. The impressive stone gateway was just nearing completion at that time^[2]. The conservatory, which had been constructed at least since 1900, was a very popular spot for park visitors during this period. Alligators were kept in the pond in front of conservatory, and several other exotic animals were housed around the park. Old war cannons were moved to the park, and (as a result of a hoax) so was the so-called "Robidoux cabin." A reporter in need of a story saw an old cabin being torn down, and claimed that it belonged to the town's founder, Joseph Robidoux. As a result, the cabin was moved to Krug Park and maintained for many years.

Debbie's grade school memories

Pershing

I went to kindergarten there.   My teacher was Miss Kitsenberger.   Now that I think of it, she seemed old, but obviously she wasn’t married.   Now I wonder how old she really was?    We had show and tell, the only one I remember was Ronnie Hoagland and he sang “I’m forever blowing bubbles”.   We always took a break and in a single line, went to the cafeteria.  I remember the big tables with attached seats (kind of like picnic tables).  There we were all given a small carton of homogenized milk, which was really cold, but I hated milk.   I liked it on cereal, but not plain!    Now, as a grown up, I now know why I didn’t like it, because it bothered my stomach.   To this day, I can’t drink milk by itself without having really bad stomach cramps and gas.    If I have it with cereal, it still happens, but not as bad.   I was only at Pershing for 1 year, then to St. Mary’s for 1^st through 8^th grade.    I can’t remember when Mom and Dad decided to change to Pershing, but it wasn’t before I finished up at St. Mary’s.    Maybe it was when Matt started school?

Most of the Christmas craft shows were held at Pershing in the gym.    I remember Mom gathering ideas all year long just for us to make for the Christmas craft show.    Some of our entries were:

Christmas tree – made with toothpicks stuck into small styrofoam balls, stacked on a flat, round Styrofoam base, to form a tree, sprayed with fake snow, then hung tiny, colorful Christmas ball ornaments on the picks and sprinkled it with glitter.

Santa’s sleigh – Mom saved the turkey breast bone from our Thanksgiving turkey.    It had plenty of time to be dried out.    I think she sprayed it gold.    I don’t remember exactly what it look like, but it worked perfectly!

Christmas tree – made from a magazine, you folded each of the pages in a certain way, to form a Christmas tree.    Then we sprayed it gold.

There were many more, but those are the 3 I remember most.    They were judged, too, and it was always so exciting to go the day of the show to see if we won any ribbons.    We did win quite a few times!

Dad was in some kind of Dad’s club with Cleland Dewey (I think) and they put on a comedy show where they all dressed up like women!    That was pretty crazy!   They must have been raising money for something.   I wonder if Mom volunteered him for that?

When the Adams family – Bob, Dixie, Kathy, Shelley, and Kris – moved in across the street, they went to Pershing.   I think they moved in around the time that Kathy was in 7^th or 8^th grade because I was very aware of her boyfriend, Gary Dunham.    Dixie talked about him all the time.   I really think she was as boy-crazy as the girls were!    Anyway, Gary had a band (I forgot their name, maybe it was Gary and the Playboys-ha,ha!).   He played the guitar and the only song I remember them playing was “Wipe Out”!    It was awesome!

But I most remember Pershing because they had the best fall festival.  I must have been in 7^th and 8^th grade and liked boys.  There were always new people to meet and it was so much fun to hang out.    All of our friends met us there, it was the place to be!    The most fun was the “Dime to Dance” room and dancing slow to “The End of the World” by Skeeter Davis.  I don’t remember who all I danced with.  I do remember, it was 8^th grade, being out on the playground with Dick Tiffany and he asked me to go steady and I said no.   Afterwards, I felt like such a weirdo, and no one could believe I turned him down because he was so popular!

St. Marys:

My first crush was Charles Veneman in 1^st grade.   He was shorter than me, little and wirey and was pretty loud, too.   I don’t remember why I liked him.   Maybe because he wasn’t shy and I was.

My 1^st day of school, I was supposed to ride the bus and I really didn’t know where to go and I ended up missing it.    I know I was crying, but I went to the office and they found someone to take me home.    That never happened again.     I don’t remember the name of our bus driver, maybe Mr. Moser or Mosley, but I can still picture his face.   He was very nice, but he didn’t have any teeth.

Sister Blanche was the meanest teacher I ever had.    I think it was for 5^th and 6^th grade.    But she taught choir and I loved to sing and she had us singing very well.   We sang for all the Masses and special occasions and that was fun!   I especially remember the choir loft, which was high above the back of the church.    I don’t know how many times we dropped song books from it, or how many times Mike Dixon, Dick Tiffany and Mike Wright got in trouble for acting up or laughing (because they were farting).   Another thing I remember about choir, she took us to a choir competition in Kansas City and we sang “The Ash Grove”.    I can still sing a few lines from it.     I was also in her class the day we found out President Kennedy was shot.

I remember Fr. John and Sister Jeremy.    They were both young and a lot of fun!  We all thought they were in love, even though we knew they were not supposed to be.   Fr. John used to do a lot of controversial things.   He used to have dances in the gym that he called “hootenannys” and his nephew had a band and they always played.   These dances were so much fun!  That was around the time that the Beatles started.    Fr. John also planned and organized an annual Passion Play around Easter time.   Seems like that was all everyone was focused on then, and it was a big deal!

In 7^th or 8^th grade, when we couldn’t go outside for recess because it was raining, we used to go to the gym and do square dancing.    All the boys threw a fit because they didn’t want to dance with us girls, but I think they would have to admit that it was a lot of fun!

There was a speech competition for 7^th  (me) and 8^th graders.    The topic was “My Responsibilities as a Young American”.   Dad helped me write my speech, which I had to memorize and use hand gestures.   One of the sentences I used was President Kennedy’s quote, “Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country!”  I remember the dress I wore, it was green with small pink and white flowers.   It had pink piping at the waist and the sleeves were all white.    It had a round neckline and zipped up the back.    Now that I remember, I can’t believe that Mom didn’t make it for me!   However, she did add her own special touch to it (which I hated, sorry, Mom).    There was a small fake flower tacked on for decoration at the waist.    Mom removed it and made me wear it in my hair, right smack in the middle of my bangs.    When it was time to do my speech, I did forget about it and got through my speech without making a mistake, I remembered all of it!    I was so thankful to be done and to sit down and relax!    It was a proud moment when they announced my name first as the runner-up and then Robin Soper was the winner.   I knew I did a pretty good job, but I was really surprised to win.   I know Dad was really proud of me, and it was really his speech that won, but I delivered it.   And I do remember most of what he told me about speaking and I was nervous, but I was very well prepared!     Thanks, Dad!   Oh, and I got my picture in the newspaper.

We used to always go to 11:30 Mass.    I remember this one Sunday, Dad was driving us home from church.   All of our family wasn’t in the car because otherwise we wouldn’t have been able to do this.    He saw Mike Dixon and Dick Tiffany walking home from church and he stopped to give them a ride.    I was so excited, embarrassed, who knows what.    All I can remember is not saying much, but when I did say something, it was a question for Dad, but I didn’t call him Dad, I went really formal and called him Father!    After I said it, I knew how stupid it sounded!    I wanted to jump out of the car I was so embarrassed.

My 1^st best friend was Denise Mckeaver, but then she moved. Then it was Suzanne Armstrong, then she moved.   From there it was Josie Rock and Debbie Ritchey.  We spent a lot of time out at Debbie’s house on their farm.    She was the only girl and she got everything she wanted.   In 7^th and 8^th, it wasn’t Debbie anymore because she took up with the new girl Jean Ann Harrison and they kept to themselves, probably because Jean Ann was spoiled too and they always wanted things their way.     But I had many other friends:   still Josie, plus Mary Kay Whitehill, Nancy Nash, Angela Dassero, Barbara Slibowski and Jeanie Lawson (8^th grade she was new girl).    We all had slumber parties together and continued to be best friends through high school.

The dickey story by Matt

“A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO CHURCH”

Do you ever stop to think of how far you can go back and what you can remember?  So many things happen in one’s life but you never know what you will remember and what you will forget. Things of great importance are things you think you will never forget. However, in the end it usually is the simple things of no importance that you remember most vividly. Below in bold italics are some things that come to mind when I look back.

I was born in St. Joe and moved when I was eight years old.  I think most people don’t start putting things to memory until they are at least 5 years old. While in St. Joe, we were all still one big family.  So my memories of St. Joe go back now over 40 years to the year 1970 plus or minus a couple of years. My brothers or sisters are all older than me but I bet they all can relate to my memories of Sunday mornings.

Can you imagine what it what like to get 6 kids from the ages of 5-15 ready to go to church each and every Sunday? I can’t but Mom did it every week.  I am sure Dad would say he helped but I know his jobs were nothing compared to Mom’s. Dad’s job was to make sure all the kids got up by “whistling and snapping his fingers” at the bottom of the stairs until he heard us respond.  His other job was to comb the boy’s hair. He discovered this oil that he would put in our hair to slick it back. He called it “Greasy Hair Kids stuff.” He only used it on us on Sunday’s before church. I remember it was awful. I think if he ever ran out, he would go to the garage and get some motor oil and we wouldn’t have known the difference. Once he slicked our hair, his job was done except for warming up the car and driving us to church. Mom on the other hand was busy busy getting us breakfast and laying out our clothes. Being the youngest, I usually got released to watch TV to get out of her hair. There wasn’t much on our black and white TV with just a couple of channels but there was one show we always watched. It was “Rocky and Bullwinkle” followed by “Underdog.” These cartoons were classics and they were only on TV on Sunday morning.

Once I heard from Mom again, it was already time to get in the car and go to church. I was handed a pair of dress pants, a buttoned down shirt and then a “dickie” that went under my shirt.   I guess this was a poor kid’s way of looking dressed up when he really wasn’t. I don’t think they even make those things anymore. The best way to describe them were they were a way to make any shirt into a mock turtleneck before they were later invented.

Once dressed, we all would then run out and jump in the car that Dad always had warmed up and ready. On Sunday’s I was always summoned to sit in the front seat between Mom and Dad in the family truckster. The parents always had to make sure the boys were split up because we were still amped up after watching “Underdog” save the day earlier on TV. As soon as we started down the road, Mom realized what I looked like and immediately starting giving me a “spit bath.” She would always look behind my ears and say “you could plant potatoes behind those ears.” Couldn’t have been from the “Greasy Hair Kid’s Stuff.” Then out would come Dad’s white handkerchief and the bath would begin after he handed it to Mom. Good thing Dad always got a new clean hanky on Sundays. They must have not yet invented Q-tips back then because Mom always used a bobby pin to get the wax out of your ears. (Just last weekend, I still observed her cleaning her ears with guess what?  A bobby pin).

The ride was only about 15 minutes but that depended on how late we were and by the time we reached church I finally looked presentable. We must have all looked silly filing into the church sitting in approximately the same pew each Sunday. We didn’t have to worry about people fighting to sit by us but you know they were all watching from a distance wondering how Mom and Dad remained civil.  

I remember one time sitting in church still a youngster not knowing that passing gas out loud was not allowed in church. I am sure all kids have to eventually learn this but they don’t have two older brothers sitting in the pew next to them that start laughing uncontrollably and who end up getting in more trouble than I did.  They tried so hard not to laugh but their bodies were shaking and tears were coming out of their eyes.  I’ll never forget that.   All it took was for one of them to look at the other and the laughing would begin all over.  I am pretty sure we didn’t get to stop at the local A&W Root Beer Drive-In on the way home that day for good behavior in church.   Those big thick mugs of root beer brought to your car window were something we always looked forward to even though they were always way too much for one of us to drink.   

I am not sure why I still remember these simple things that happened so long ago, but like I mentioned earlier, you never know what things of such little importance you will remember all these years later that I wouldn’t trade for the world. I guess in a simple world, these were the only things that really mattered to a young kid from a close family that even today is still so special.